Tropes
3 min read

The ultimate writer's guide to the Friends to Lovers trope

The image shows two childhood friends, adults now. They have just realised that the affection they share is not platonic.

What is the Friends to Lovers trope?

The Friends to Lovers trope involves two characters who start their relationship as friends, with a platonic bond, and over the course of the story develop romantic feelings for each other. This transition from friendship to romantic love is a central theme, often highlighting a deepening of emotional intimacy and mutual respect.

Characteristics of Friends to Lovers trope

The Friends to Lovers trope is characterized by a slow-burn romance, where characters experience a gradual realization of their feelings. It is categorized as such because it mirrors real-life relationships' complexities, showcasing the evolution of emotions and the depth of a bond that can lead to love. Its relevance in fiction lies in its relatability and the optimistic message that enduring love can grow from the seeds of friendship. The trope is prevalent due to its universal appeal, reflecting the journey from understanding and valuing someone as a friend to recognizing a deeper, romantic connection.

Where did the Friends to Lovers trope come from?

Historically, the Friends to Lovers trope has roots in classical literature, where friendships often blossomed into romantic relationships as a narrative arc. Its evolution reflects changing societal attitudes toward romance and marriage, with early examples emphasizing compatibility and mutual respect as foundations for love. Over time, as romantic love increasingly became the basis for marriage in Western cultures, this trope gained popularity, illustrating the desire for relationships built on strong emotional and intellectual foundations.

Genres & the Friends to Lovers trope

  • Romance: Naturally, as it deals directly with the development of romantic relationships.
  • Young Adult (YA): Explores the emotional growth of characters coming of age.
  • Fantasy & Science Fiction: Adds a layer of depth to character relationships amidst fantastical plots.
  • Contemporary: Reflects modern societal norms and the value of friendship in romantic relationships.

Cross-genre Usage: The Friends to Lovers trope has been effectively used in genres outside its typical realm, such as in thrillers or mysteries, where the emotional bond between characters adds a layer of complexity and humanizes the narrative, enriching the story's emotional depth.

Examples of the Friends to Lovers trope

  • "Eleanor & Park" by Rainbow Rowell: This novel showcases the trope through characters bonding over comic books and music, gradually falling in love.
  • "To All the Boys I've Loved Before" by Jenny Han: The story follows a girl whose secret love letters get sent out, including one to her childhood friend, leading to a romantic development.
  • "Pride and Prejudice" by Jane Austen: While not a straightforward example, the evolving relationship between Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy showcases elements of growing from misunderstanding to friendship to love.
  • "Emma" by Jane Austen: Emma and Mr. Knightley's relationship evolves from close friendship to love, highlighting Austen's exploration of the trope.

How to use Friends and Lovers in creative ways

  • Avoiding Clichés: Build unique obstacles or personal growth challenges for your characters that feel genuine and specific to their journey.
  • Innovative Twists: Consider scenarios where the transition from friends to lovers isn't linear, such as through mutual misunderstandings, external pressures, or evolving self-awareness.
  • Character and Plot Integration: Ensure the friendship is well-developed and believable, providing a solid foundation for the romantic development. Let the romantic feelings emerge as a natural progression of their bond.
  • Examples of Creative Use: A story where the characters become friends while unaware of a past connection that, once revealed, adds depth to their growing feelings. Alternatively, exploring the trope in a non-traditional setting, like a futuristic or fantastical world, can add layers of complexity and originality.